You love to run. Simple and sweet.
What you don’t love, though, is the annoying stuff non-runners say to runners. Has anyone said any of these to you?
1. You don’t look like a runner.
Gee, thanks. Yes, I know I don’t look like a gazelle. Not everyone is an elite. Being mainly skinny with muscular quads and calves is not a requirement to be part of this club, you know. We come in all shapes and sizes!
2. I wish I could do that.
Well, if you made an effort, maybe you could, too!
3. You’re lucky you’re so athletically blessed.
This is right up there with you’re so lucky you’re naturally fit/skinny/healthy. No — it’s because I get out there, bust my butt and train!
4. Did you win?
Why yes — I won a banana, a finisher’s medal, all-you-can-eat bagels, the satisfaction of completing the distance and great company with lots of people high on endorphins.
5. Don’t you get tired?
Nope. I am Super Runner. I’m immune to the usual effects of physical exertion. That’s why I win every time.
6. Don’t you get bored?
No way. I delight in putting one foot in front of the other monotonously for miles and miles. (Especially on the treadmill!) Yes, sometimes it’s boring. But if you give it a chance, you’ll find what’s so amazing about it.
7. I only run if something is chasing me.
Like I haven’t heard that one before? I know, you’re just trying to be funny. But it just isn’t.
8. Haven’t you heard of that guy who died during that race?
Sure, there are the occasional unfortunate incidences of someone collapsing to his or her death while running. But what about the other hundreds of thousands of people whose health has been drastically improved by the sport? What about the higher incidence of people dropping dead because of obesity-related diseases preventable by such exercise? I’ll take my chances on running, thank you very much.
9. Running is bad for your knees.
You know who you don’t hear saying this much? People who actually run. Just so you know — running actually strengthens the knees, according to the most recent research. Conversely, sitting around is bad for all of your joints…and your heart…and your arteries…and your lungs…and your mental health….
10. Do you need a ride?
I’m amazed how often this happens to me. Do they not see that I am in full running gear, exercising on purpose? Are they just trying to hit on me? Or trying to kidnap me?
11. Do you know how to get to (X location)?
I just love it when people stop their vehicle in the middle of the road to ask me for directions. Do I look like a map? Don’t you have navigation on your phone? Can you not interrupt my workout, please?
12. Run, Forrest, run!
This one wins the award for the ultimate most annoying running remark. Seriously. Be original, people. It’s not the least bit amusing anymore.
KEEP TRACK OF MY RUNNING ON